a heart with knife scratches around it

heart with a scratch

Begining of guitar series

"The reoccurring theme in my work is the conflict between observed biological facts and certain metaphysical models of paradise, or the reality of death and concept of immortality. Herein lies the source of the drive and scuffle of the pursuit of my imagination. This transformation in symbolism, though lacking any labor saving virtues, accommodates the search for a surface upon which to place flesh and blood, providing a lever against existential fears. Besides drawing has become a habit." Lee Baxter Davis

LIPS

I started this piece a long while ago and finished it a few months ago. It's funny how ideas you thought of years ago come back to you, this is one reason to always write down your ideas. What I wanted to do with the lips was to visually depict mis-communication. You begin with an intact pair of lips, just as you begin with a clear idea in your head that you want to send to another person. As the information comes off your lips distortions occurs. Through time, space, and through the structures of the other person's brain your initial idea changes. Sometimes this distortion causes a fight, sometimes sadness, and sometimes a false sense of security and hope. When you are listening to another the information you receive is like a fragmented warped version of the original copy, and you have to do your best to piece it together.

After taking pictures of the coffee, I took a few pictures of my personal obsession...my dog Ruca. I think they are funny because they really do seem to glorify her to a ridiculous level...which is what I do in real life. The one where she is licking the mirror is fun because it looks like she is kissing herself, or eating herself if you have a morbid mind. I never thought I would be the crazy chihuahua lady, but I am, I am no longer in denial. Oh Ruca, hee hee. That dog makes me very happy, and I love that furry little ball of energy.

Starbucks love

These are the first pictures of what will hopefully become a series about contemporary obsessions in today's society. Starbucks has become synonymous with coffee, almost overtaking the name itself, like Kleenex is to Tissue paper. The world has gone mad for Starbucks and I am definitely part of the craziness (slightly ashamed to say). I find myself wanting one every morning, I yearn for the warm soy vanilla latte that they make so well. I want to feel the coffee on my lips and I want to savor every drop. I know I am not alone on this because in every town in every city there on almost every corner, is a Starbucks.

So for these photos I take the obsession to an extreme level where the desire is blatantly apparent through my numerous kisses and desperate writing of, "Please never leave me." The dependence is clear.

Bird poo, to sun in the city.

Well I took a picture of the bird poo on my car (seen at bottom) because I liked the design... it reminded me of the sun and its rays of light. I used a picture I took of New York and made the poo the shinning sun gracing its light upon the soaring skyscrapers. Ironically New York is a city full of bird poo.

Swamp Lady doodle,

to Swamp Lady Painting.

Mother and Child.

Grandma and her Smile

I have been working on this project for way way to long. After my Grandma passed away last year she left behind a fabulous photo album filled with old photos dating as far back as 1910. I have been very very slowly scanning them into my computer to hopefully put together a book. This is one page that I have created. This blog entry is making me want to work on it again. The scanning process is so boring though.

I love looking at these pictures because they take me back to a time when I was not even close to existing, to a time when I get to see the old woman I loved so much as a young vibrant woman. I also just adore the style of the 30's. They feel like apple pie to me, warm, classic, and beautiful. A time when romance was alive, when people actually talked to one another, and men actually opened doors for you.

Photography is so awesome in this way. Freezing time forever. I imagine a time when these pictures were new to my Grandma. I imagine her excitement as she picked them up from the photo lab and showed them to her friends. They probably laughed over the stories the pictures represented and started planing another trip for next summer. Then maybe my Grandma put these pictures away for awhile and forgot about them. Then in her mid 60's, after life had carved some lines of time into her skin she dusted them off again. Now I imagine she looked at these pictures with a nostalgic remembrance of youth and adventure. Maybe she looked at these pictures and wondered where these friends were now, if they had kids of their own, and if they still looked the same. Then she probably looked at these pictures again at the very end of her life, at 99, and realized she has breathed more breaths than all of these figures in the pictures with her. That these pictures represent bodies that were now ghosts. I imagine her closing her eyes and going back to these moments, on a boat to Bermuda with her friends in 1935 when her skin was like porcelain and her body didn't ache...and smiling.

Now I look at these pictures and I remember a woman who took life as it came with unbelievable grace. She accepted hardships, reveled in the beauty, and smiled all the way through the whole thing. She was the happiest person I have ever met, even to the end when she had every reason not to be. I am glad she took these pictures, they make me remember the right way to live.

I wonder where all the pictures that we take today will end up? Will our grandchildren look at all them with wonderment of the past? Will I pick them up years from now and remember what it was like to be 29 and happy.

I appreciate you

I feel thankful to have met someone who makes me see beauty in things again, and makes me feel alive. I appreciate you.