weddings

When you reach your mid 20's you enter the mad house of the crazy wedding phenomenon. Your mail box floods with elaborate invitations, and your closet begins to fill with beautiful bridesmaid dresses never to see the light of day again. Everyone complains that bridesmaid dresses are hideous but I rather like mine, they are pretty and fun to wear. I think someday i will just go grocery shopping in one of them to get a second use out of it.

Someday I would love to be married to the right guy, but I don't feel like it would be the death of me if I never did. I would rather not marry than say yes to the guy who for all intensive purposes, "will do the job good enough." I am learning that there is this silent deadline (especially for women) to get married by 30. If you pass this age then you are no longer the free single beauty, you are this old insane woman who must have something wrong with her to not be married by now. An invisible but definite line is drawn.

There are few people I know that I think really married for the right reason. Most of them seem to be out of convenience, security, and comfort...although nobody will ever admit that till maybe later when they are divorced. I really don't want those to be my reasons. "The one" is supplemented with "the one right now" because that dreaded invisible line is coming near and the time to act is now. I don't get it. I don't get this deadline and I don't get the fantasy of a big elaborate wedding. I never dreamed of a grand wedding and have never envisioned myself in a wedding dress...all that seems secondary to finding a love that is real.

The idea of marriage is beautiful to me but the process and pressure behind it makes me want to elope. Just like this picture a traditional wedding seems rather void and deflated of the true meaning of love. If people weren't so scared of being alone or losers I wonder if I'd be going to as many weddings?